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He-Man and the Masters of the Rainbow
April 19, 2004
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I, He-Man, have come to destroy you!
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And I, Skeletor, accept your challenge. You are no match for me, He-Man!
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Using the Sword of Power, I will end your foul existence once and for all!
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With my Havoc Staff, I shall disembowel your perfect six pack abs!
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They are pretty tight, aren't they?
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Come to think of it, yes. I've always admired them. I've never had the courage to speak up until now. Beastman is always eavesdropping, or there's Grizzlor or Fisto telling me I've got to hatch a new plot for world domination. I just can't be myself, you know? Sometimes a girl just wants to put her feet up, finish those 'think spring!' greeting cards and have a cocktail.
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I hear you. I've got the Sorceress riding my ass about Man-at-Arm's eczema or the smog problem in Eternia. Who's taking care of MY needs?
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This really is new for me. I've...I've never been with a man before...particularly one with a glowing green skull for a head.
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Shhhh! Hush, my sweet Prince Adam. Let Skeletor show you who's really the Master of the Universe. Teela's got nothing on me. Besides, she's totally got implants.
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Arghhhh! What the hell is that awful noise? It sounds like a Cringer being dragged behind an Attak Trak!
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Hey-eyyy! You boys need a date?
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By the Power of Grayskull! Look at the size of that thing!
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I see you're admiring my brazilian.
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Oops! Was that my top? I'm so silly.
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Whoa, bitch! What the fuck is going on HERE? I'm dead only a couple days and you start giving that shit up for free? Bitch, in case it slipped your mind, that pussy belong to me. You got to learn yerself some respect - specially when you my bottom bitch. I ain't in the bidness of turning out no free-ass hos.
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And as for y'all, you best be paying me for what you already be gettin from dis ho. There ain't no free samples in dis muthafucking market!
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You has-been pimp! If you don't get your trash out of my face, I shall be forced to rectally eviscerate you with the working end of my sword!
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Step aside, He Man. This is a job for someone who's already been to hell and back. His powers have no hold over me. Take that, Jesus!
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*spat* That's right. You'll stay dead this time if you know what's good for you.
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Ummmm hmmmmm. Girl, something nasty this way comes!
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Skeletor, my darling, can we ever truly be free to love one another?
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Don't worry your pretty towhead, He-Man. I won't let anything come between us. You have my word. Now suck me, beautiful.
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-lisa
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