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Back to School '69 Style - Part II


Making Boys into Men


August 30, 2004

Hey, Sports! Now that summer's drawing to a close, it's time to stop hitting those waves and start hitting those books. Back to School is here again! Even though your mom is still picking out your clothes, she'll never go wrong with JC Penney! You'll be the most happening hunk in Homeroom with these far out fashions.

Check Mate

Check Mate

This might be the year that Sally Jo actually notices you. If you've got the right look and attitude, she may even forget about last year's "erection incident" during your class presentation on the Battle of the Bulge. These handsome checked beltless slacks with extension tab waistband show you to be a man who recognizes history in the making. Paired with our pull-over polyester blend mock turtleneck, she'll be sure to borrow your notes every day!

Got that green, dolla dolla bill ya'll Also available in green.
Slacks....................................8.94
Mock Turtleneck......................2.94

Swingin' Stripes

Bold stripes make the man of today with this groovy 50/50 polyester and cotton mock turtleneck. Paired with our western-style permanent crease sateen jeans, your steady won't be able to resist you - even when she's entertaining her "visitor." Look at that ass. When you tell her that your slacks require no ironing, she'll decide then and there that waiting for marriage is totally overrated. She may even agree that you bring your "little friend" along for the ride. Maybe then he'll stop sulking with his Mrs. Beasley doll over by the tetherball court at lunchtime while you talk to your girl.

Striped shirt available in gold, blue green

Ea.......................1.77
Any 3...................5.00

Sateen Jeans.......2.94
Available in Slim, Regular & Husky



Pocketful of Posies

Pocketful of Posies

According to your sister, all chicks dig flowers. That goes double when you show up wearing them! The girls will go ga-ga when you saunter past in this bold and confident floral statement. Made of 100% cotton, with a maximum shrinkage of 1%, we recommend you purchase these slacks at least two sizes smaller than usual in Hot. order to accentuate your 'big bouquet.' Belt loops, zip-fly, two front and two back pockets. Out of sight!

Also available in orange.

Slacks............................4.94
Shorts............................3.50

Big Men on Campus

You'll set the curve when she gets an eyeful of these handsome oxford weave button down shirts and tailored walking shorts with permanent crease. Both are available in a variety of solids and plaids that will blend in with your mother's davenport. When you're watching television with Rebecca after a night of studying, she won't Buy our clothes or they'll kick your lilly white ass. even realize her hand's not resting on the furniture - until it's too late! Front fly zip, belt loops, two front pockets.

Available in green, blue, red

Shirt, Sizes 6 - 18
Ea..................................................1.98
Two for...........................................3.76

Shorts, Sizes 6 - 18
Ea..................................................2.49
Two for...........................................4.66




Hers 'N Hers

Girls are Icky Going steady can be heavy! No one will ever suspect she's got your balls in her pocket when you arrive decked out in these smart crew neck tees. You'll be two of a kind at the next pep rally or her mother's backyard Sunday tea. Since everyone, including her father, expects you to marry her right out of high school in a traditional Catholic ceremony, rest assured that you can look forward to socials with matching outfits for the next 40 years. It's not like you meant to get her pregnant after the Spring Formal. 100% cotton, contrasting stripes and ribbed neck. It's the most!

His, Sizes S, M, L, XL...........2.49
Hers, Sizes, S, M, L..............2.49




He'll never reproduce.

Wanna Wrestle?

You'll know all those hours in the weight room after wrestling practice were worth it when you slip into this sleeveless solid-colored muscle shirt. The crew neck and ribbed arm holes provide a snug fit over your rippling manhood. Even your gym and sauna buddy will be surprised by how much you've grown! If you've lost your hair due to the overzealous use of anabolic steroids, the JC Penney comb-over men's fashion wig is available on page 37.

Available in orange, peacock blue, light blue, black, navy, white.

Sizes S, M, L, XL..............1.49
Two for.............................2.98




Hot Dog: The Movie

Cool Cat

Hang ten with your lady friend in this surfer inspired jacket. Paired with our tinted JC Penney sunglasses, she'll never know that you're actually watching Marty's glistening pectorals as he catches that gnarly wave. But Marty is all the wiser and knows that something's up besides the surf! Hide-away hood, zip front and zippered breast pocket.

Also available in white, light blue

Sizes S, M, L, XL................7.88

Ahoy, Polloi!

Gay Nineties

If you've been wondering how to break into the "gay for pay" hustler market, this one piece stretch tank suit will be your one-way ticket on the pleasure express! You're sure to make a splash both underneath the boardwalk and behind the hotdog shack with that lonely group of immigrants whose wives are still living in their native Mexican villages waiting for their husbands to come home and meet their children for the first time. The fully elasticized web belt with brass buckle ensures a close, snug fit.

One size fits all................8.98



Fashion uber alles


It's a Gas!

If you're a history whiz, nothing says it more than spending a day at the beach dressed like a liberated Auschwitz survivor. These boss beach pants are striped and flared for fun in the sun. Wide blue and white stripes, drawstring waist, two front pockets. Vive la Resistance!

Made of 100% cotton twill, our navy blue western-style beach top has two front flap pockets - perfect for hiding your crust of bread and spoon. Zipper front, button cuffs.

Flare pants....................................4.98

Beach top, Sizes S, M, L, XL..........9.98


It's so Very to be Hairy in Terry

Slipping into something a little more comfortable after golf practice was never so easy with the JC Penney 100% cotton terrycloth locker loungewear collection.

You'll be par for the course with these colorful coordinates. The soft absorbent terry wicks away sweat after that hard workout and the elastic waistband means complete What the hell are you looking at? comfort while playing "snap the towel" in the locker room.

If you've got back acne and can't catch a break with the ladies (or gents), the terrycloth man skirt with diagonal front pocket is the perfect solution for your post-practice "release." The pocket is also handy for holding shaving equipment. 3-snap fastener adjustment.
Available in yellow and blue.

Locker shirt...........................5.98
Short shorts...........................3.98
Kimono robe..........................11.98
Man skirt...............................2.44



Elastic Band of Brothers.

One of these things is not like the other.....

Even though your underwear looks the same as your little brother's, you know that underneath you're anything but little. Soft 100% combed cotton with double fabric protection provides the extra absorbency needed during those long afternoons in English class spent staring at the head cheerleader's soft, milky white thighs. Elastic waist and leg openings.

Retains shape after washings and erections. Package of three..

Little Boys or Big Boys Briefs
1 pkg of 3........................................2.19
2 pkg of 3........................................3.94
Crew undershirt with nylon neck
1 pkg of 3........................................2.19
2 pkg of 3........................................3.94



I am Cotton.


-lisa
 
Copyright 2017 Daniel S. Fettinger and Lisa Warner, all rights reserved.