DISCLAIMER: This article contains suggestive language and gratuitous images of
animal food products. It is not recommended for the weak of heart (vegetarians),
anyone who has experienced or is prone to seizures and women who are pregnant
or nursing.
Now yours for only $19.95! Todd Bridges (or Lorenzo Lamas if you're more into
the swarthy look) will call to offer his "Congratulations on Being Employee of
the Month" or maybe, if little Timmy didn't get that A in social studies, Todd
can come through with an "Encouraging Motivational Call." They're going fast!
