The Summer of '84 is nearly upon us. It's time to brush off the tired gloom of a
long winter and reemerge as the brand new you.
This bathing suit season, hit the sand and surf with a fit and toned figure. Remember: no one likes a fatty --
especially at the beach. Jump on the fitness bandwagon and get in shape with Sears! Jogging, sit-ups and
leg curls are all well and good, but your workout shouldn't suffer from dull and listless fashions. We've got the hottest
in hip exercise fashions and accessories. Check it out -- there's more for your life at Sears!
Don't Let Flab Ruin Your Fab!
You'll want to have the perfect beach body to oil up in
front of the underage lifeguards. Before you start showing that summer skin, you've got to get in shape!
Get fit and fabulous in these lovely leotards! Full-fashioned leotards in a tantalizing array of colors and styles. Made of
comfortable Lycra, these natty numbers are sure to get you noticed! *Endorsed by Pat Benatar.
Available in Small, Medium and Large. Tights and legwarmers sold separately.
Dotted tank leotard with high v-cut elastic legs available in periwinkle, black and red............................18.99
Spaghetti strap camisole leotard in solid colors. Criss cross back straps. Available in black, fuchsia
wine, periwinkle, bright blue and red..................................13.00
Color spliced leotard with takes the dullness our of a work-out. Nylon and Lycra spandex............................18.00
Mind those love handles, girls! Midriff T with body-trunk suit. Available in black and red.
T-shirt..............10.00 Body Trunk............12.00
Even Transgender "Girls" Can Get Into the Fun
Whether you're a transgendered gal facing the complication of newly budding breasts or simply the victim of yo-yo dieting
and weight fluctuations, the Sears Cling-a-long collection will adapt to your freakishly changing body. Made from pressed nylon
yarn, our leotards and tights are designed to last work-out after work-out. A waist belts aids in the appearance of "womanly" hips,
while the diagonal sling-strap body suit adds allure. Super stretchable and super durable. No one will know that you don't actually have a vagina!
Specially endorsed by Jennifer Baker (formerly James).
Sleeveless pinch front leotard, S, M, L..............7.50
Short sleeve scoop neck leotard........9.50
Sling-strap body suit............10.00
We Can See the Pink!
A stylish stripe motif set on a solid background will show those muscle men you mean business. A cotton-lined crotch
will ensure that your business doesn't show. Stripe pattern leads the eye away from camel toe.
The rope belt accentuates the waist. Elastic neck, high cut legs. Imported. Legwarmers and headband sold separately.
Also available in dusty blue and lilac. Sizes S, M, L or XL
Leotard........22.00
Striped headband and legwarmers.......Set 10.00
Jog-N-Tramp
Make sure you're equipped with the latest in exercise technology. The Jog-N-Tramp is the perfect way to tone calves
and thighs while making your boobies bounce ever so subtly. It will probably end up in your basement next to the
sump pump, but just entertain the notion -- for a moment -- that you might actually use it. Bouncy bouncy? You bet!
Tramp not included. Please, no more phone calls.
Jog-n-Tramp...............49.99
Belt Massage Those Trouble Spots
Disco may be dead, but you can still shake that booty! Get double the burn, double the chafe with the Sears Best Belt Massager! One 3-in and one 4-in wide cotton
belt with reinforced leather tips. Two sturdy posts provide stability and a carpeted wood platform offers yet another surface to get gummed up with the kids' Play-doh (see Sears
toy section).
Belt Belt Massager...............229.99
Replacement Belts...............19.99
Don't Stop Til You Get Enough
The workout doesn't always stop in the gym. If you need to squeeze in an extra few reps while hanging with the girls
in the hot, steamy locker room, be sure to slip into our comfortable Sports Bra. No hooks, only soft and resilient spandex and padding. Cups lined with
spun polyester. This bra conforms to you where you most need it. It also keeps big ole floppy titties in check. Machine Wash. Imported. Feel the burn!
Beige and white. State size 32-24; 36-38; 40-42.
Cups B, C...............7.50
D Cup................8.50
Cool Down
Your active life takes center stage in these colorful separates. Our elasticized waist pant and zip front jacket provides ultimate comfort
whether you're cooling down after a vigorous workout or just playing checkers in the convalescent home. The ribbed piping and
rib knit cuffs are the flashpoint of style. Do not wear near open flame. King me!
Available in violet, royal, bright green, black and red.
Sizes S, M, L. Misses S (8-10); M 12-14); L (16-18)
Pant...............14.99
Jacket...............16.99
Deter Homosexual Predators
Moms, protect your sons from the sick and perverted clutches of the predatory homosexual. Be sure that your big boy has maximum mobility in these
attractive crop tops. He will be able to outrun those queers before they can destroy him by making him one of their own.
Made by Converse, these separates are ready for play, sporting action or just to make a statement.
May not deter overly affectionate uncles. But of course, you don't have such "problems" in your family. Kevin
only had that one indiscretion in 1981...he promised it would never happen again.
Sizes S(8); M(10-12); L(14-16); XL(18-20)
Sleeved crop knit shirt, black or gray...............8.00
Sleeveless knit shirt, black or gray...............10.00
The corpse could be taken to the Compostorium and placed in a specially
constructed autoclave or pressure cooker. The corpse would have already
been disembowelled and that material placed into a methane digester; this
would have averted the potential danger of pathogens. The gas so generated
would contribute to the slow and steady heat required to render the remains
to a condition ready to be ground up to a kind of slurry to be 'intimately
mixed' with straw and other vegetable wastes.
Specially endorsed by Jennifer Baker (formerly James).
