Alright people, that's a wrap. Good work, Princess Daphne -- go get yourself cleaned up. Let's move it people, we've got one more scene to shoot today, and my dad's going to be home in three hours! There'll be hell to pay if he finds us filming a porno in his pool house again!
Jesus: God damn it! Alright, Moses, you know I hate to ask you to do this, but you're the only one I can count on. Everyone else has denied me at least three times.
Moses: This really isn't part of my job description.
Jesus: For Christ's sake, get in there and fluff that soldier. I'll give you seven virgins and a golden calf in the next life. Take one for the team, Moses -- it's the Christian thing to do.
Captain, I've set the coordinates for the Star Trek convention in Las Vegas. You're going to make a lot of virgins very happy today, sir. Prepare to beam down.
Picard: Sulu, it would appear that the females are being subjected to some form of ritualistic sexual subjugation. The prudent and humane course of action would be to extricate them from their current position and back to my private quarters on the Enterprise.
But Captain, couldn't returning the females to the Enterprise be construed as interfering with the natural progression of this primitive species' development, and therefore in direct violation of Starfleet's Prime Directive?
It would not, however, be at odds with the Prime Directive for us to heed their plight by participating in their rituals if we do not alter their cultural evolution in the process.
What a conundrum! When I'm faced with a difficult decision, I can always rely on the infinite wisdom of one man to guide me...What would Captain Kirk do?
That's affirmative, Howard. I witnessed the entire thing. It was a most perplexing scene. Helmsman Sulu showed an unbridled appetite for the females that was rather outside of his normal character. My final calculations indicate that it was totally hot.
